Most of us go through our day-to-day lives, not recognizing the power of focus. If we’re listening to the news, and something catches us, we focus on it.  If we’re standing in line and there’s a grumpy patron in front of us, we tend to focus on them.  If traffic is bad going to work, this tends to hold our focus for the entire commute.  

If Facebook, Twitter, or some social media event catches our eye, we focus there. If our boss was in a bad mood, we complain to our co-workers, and we keep focusing on it. If our children are upset, we often focus on their upsets. When our children complain in the face of a world that’s blessed and full of fantastic opportunities, we focus on it. And unfortunately, they are focused on a limited view of their life.

And it gets worse because our history can quickly become our destiny, given how the mind works. A thought arises about how badly I was treated as a child, and I focus on it.  A few moments later, an idea appears about the mistakes I made yesterday, last week, last month, or last year, and now I focus there.  

What Takes Our Focus…Steals Our Life.

This is one of the most important truths to understand.  What gets your focus…NOW owns your life.  Please contemplate this. 

It is critical to understand that thoughts and events will arise over which we have no control. We’re driving the car and boom!  A nasty thought arises. We did not choose it, but it just shows up.  

We’re on the phone, and the world intrudes with alerts, commentary, and criticism.  Everywhere we turn, our focus is being directed and taken from us.  Again, not our choice, it appears, but it just shows up and hooks our attention. 

Often, we can’t control the events that show up, and we can’t control the thoughts that arise from those events.   Events happen…and thoughts just come about.  And then, we focus on that.

Life will continually present itself in a way to absorb our attention.  And then, time passes while we focus on that event or thought…and we have just surrendered a bit of time.  

And what is a bit of time but a bit of our lives? 

And bit by bit our lives are now consumed, as our focus is directed and taken without so much as a moment of resistance.  In many ways, it can appear as if we chose it.  But in reality, we did not. 

This focus-robbing process has crept into our lives like the Trojan horse.  It appears as one thing, yet it is proving to be another.   

It’s Time to Fight for What You Want to Focus On!

How do you feel about this life?  How do you feel about the world we live in?  How are you feeling right now?  

For some, a better question is this: “What is your experience of life when you have nothing to do?”  

I ask because we typically experience the effects or feelings that flow from where we focus over time.   If our focus has habitually shifted to the negative, the doubting, the cynical, or the sad, then our lives tend to reflect that habitual focus. (This is obvious…right?)

So, in short, we stand where we are today as the accumulated effect of what has consistently captured our attention.  And yet, few of us have taken a careful look at what has hooked our attention.    

Today, I suggest a fresh start.  Choose what will get your focus, and then set out a course to ensure that this happens. Let’s consider a few simple ideas:

  • Start the day with laughter by watching hilarious videos
  • Leave for work 15″ early, so no traffic takes your joy.
  • Shut down social media that does not uplift or inspire you.
  • Choose three empowering questions to ask yourself before getting out of bed.
  • Set the intention to smile today…regardless of others’ moods.
  • Be diligent with the negative, the pessimist…and walk away. 

There are dozens of ways to hijack your focus based on what you want. Don’t let others choose your life focus!  

Consider what you would like and resolve to move toward this today.  Simply chose it and predetermine how to hijack your attention in the direction you seek.  

Your time.  Your focus. These become your life.  Make sure your life is unfolding based on your intentions!  This understanding is essential.  

“But Dr. Cale, My Mind Is Naturally Distractible.  What Can I Do?”

Some of you may have ADD or ADHD or tend to be easily distracted. Such conditions make it very difficult to focus on what you want.  Your mind may be readily ‘caught’ by distractions and events around you, despite your efforts.  If that is the case, you may need to change HOW your brain operates.  

My suggestion is to consider the powerful and proven Neurofeedback training to focus the distractible mind.  In this way, you can begin to take control over what gets your attention and improve your ability to get things done with ease. 

Neurofeedback is demonstrated to reduce inattention and improve focus better than any other treatment method.  This technology works by retraining the brain with sophisticated biofeedback equipment.  Over time, the brain wave patterns change, and as this changes, your thoughts, emotions, and ability to focus all improve.  

Why haven’t you heard of this?  Well, that is an interesting question, and the answer is complicated.  Neurofeedback has been around for decades, but the research shows dramatic improvements in the outcome literature in the last twenty years.  ADHD and ADD have been endorsed as Level 1 (Best) interventions by the medical and psychological communities.  Yet, many mental health professionals and physicians have little knowledge of the research and the impact of this powerful technology on changing lives.   

Consider this, if you or a family member has a more distractible mind that is hard to control.  Medication brings many side effects, and the impact on children is often disastrous.  Secondly, there is no long-term answer, as most young adults take themselves off medication because it ‘feels bad.’  Thirdly, it is only a partial cover-up to the brain’s problems and is not a lifelong solution.

Therapy is merely coping when it comes to the distractible mind.  Unfortunately, nothing changes in the mind when ADD or ADHD is severe.  

Neurofeedback brings the hope of a genuine change in how the brain functions.  With a gentle reward tone or visual feedback signal, the brain organically reorganizes and moves to a healthy state.  The neurological and organic changes from Neurofeedback are not instantaneous but happen over weeks and months. 

You can learn more about this technology and how to get your life back with Neurofeedback by going to or calling my offices to set up a free consult with me, Dr. Randy Cale, at 518-606-3805.

Remember:  Life accumulates.  At the end of each day, we have the experiences and thoughts we have focused on. That’s it.  

If you can’t control that focus, then you can’t control your life…and its destiny.  Start turning this around today, and you can regain control over your life and happiness.